January 2009

  • SarahPAC

    By mous on 1/27/09 1:48am
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    Tuesday, January 27th
    3:24pm

    Dear Diary,

    I’ve finally got the media attention on this new website called “SarahPAC.” It’s this great new website that once again puts me on the forefront of national television, AND (more importantly) begins the serious talk about my 2012 campaign for presidency. Of course, I didn’t come up with the idea, and didn’t formally authorize it either. And the organization is based in Arlington, VA – something I hope no one picks up on it…

    Anyway, my favorite part of the website is the picture of the United States, and it has Alaska on the inside. Once president, I’ll have to look into a way to see if we can get another state to be shaped like Alaska….

    Love yah!
    Sarah

    Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

  • Miss WASILLA, But America Works Too

    By mous on 1/26/09 2:05pm
    2 Comments

    Monday, January 26th
    1:05pm

    Dear Diary,

    Am feeling fully rested after a long overdue 14 hour sleep. Ya know, a lot of people ask me how I stay looking so young and beautiful. Well, first I have to thank the Lord for my good looks. Then I just tell ‘em that I sleep away my wrinkles and age lines. Just a good 12 to 14 hours of sleep is all anyone needs to look their best, that’s what I always say.

    Speaking of looking my best, I heard that I was mentioned in a question at the Miss America pageant last Saturday. But they got my pageant wrong! Everybody knows that I was Miss Wasilla, but they actually thought I was part of the Miss America beauty pageant? I’ll admit I’m honored that people assumed I came so far. And as proud as I am to have been Miss Wasilla, I’m certainly not going to refute those stories. They’re just good press!

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  • Clothing Scandal...Still?!

    By mous on 1/23/09 7:27pm
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    Friday, January 23, 2009
    3:15pm

    Dear Diary,

    Outraged at recent liberal elite blog reports that I allegedly stuffed all my campaign clothes into plastic bags at the Republican National Convention headquarters in Washington, D.C. I would never do that! Who in their right mind would waste all those beautiful clothes by just putting them in trash bags to sit around unworn. Besides, I certainly wouldn’t be saving them for me. I plan to get a whole new wardrobe when it comes time to campaign for my presidency.

    I  still can’t even believe the double-standard. All those Democrat cronies were allowed to spend Democrat dollars to buy their clothes. I should have been allowed to as well! I did make a speech talking about how the clothes weren’t mine and that they would get returned.

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  • Problems with Levi

    By mous on 1/22/09 2:13pm
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    Thursday, January 22nd
    2:45pm

    Dear Diary,

    I do not know what I’m going to do with that Levi. He says he’s planning on marrying Bristol, but I haven’t seen any engagement rings yet. I’m trying to hint that this needs to happen as soon as possible without seeming like the pushy mother-in-law. Still, it would not look good to the grandmother of a child born out of wedlock, and so I have to make sure that Levi is locked into marriage.

    He’s already dropped out of high school AND quit the job I got for him. Pretty ungracious if you ask me, but I’m trying to put a good face on the situation with the media. I think Bristol is a little too understanding about all this… I will have to sit down and have a very persuasive talk with her. We Palins just won’t tolerate that kind of wishy-washy behavior…

    Love yah!
    Sarah

    Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

  • Inauguration Hilarity

    By mous on 1/21/09 1:39pm
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    Wednesday, January 21st
    1:00pm

    Dear Diary,

    Still laughing about Obama’s slip-up during his oath yesterday. He may have tried to make Chief Justice John Roberts look bad, but Obama just ended up looking like an idiot. Just makes ya wonder if he’s actually qualified, since he can’t even repeat a couple sentences...

    I think that most people would agree that the inauguration was on way too early yesterday morning. If it was my inauguration, I would have scheduled it for much later in the day. As it was, I had to watch that slip-up on youtube, since it would have been on from 7 to 8am. No one I know has ever been up at that ungodly hour. Beauty sleep means a little more around here, and
    maybe that’s why Alaskans are so good-lookin’…

    Love yah!
    Sarah

    Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

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  • Inauguration Day (shoulda been me)

    By mous on 1/20/09 7:15am
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    Tuesday, January 20th
    12:10pm

    Dear Diary,

    Just heard that Barack Obama has officially been inaugurated. Ya know, he may have gotten elected, but if I wasn’t stuck with that geezer McCain, it coulda been me up there. I don’t want people to think I’m a sore loser, but let’s be honest. If it was just me on that Republican ticket, I wouldn’t have been dragged down by John. And then it would be my inauguration.

    Well, it’s just a matter of time until people start to realize their big mistake, doncha know. With those unpatriotic socialists ruining Washington, people are going to realize that they need someone who’s really outside Washington to come in and fix everything up. Which is when I step back into the picture. After all, Palin 2012 is only three years away – and only two until I should start campaigning again. Of course, I need to stay in the national spotlight so I retain all my fans. But it shouldn’t be hard. Just a couple more videos and I’ll be set. Haven’t thought about my running mate, but I’m sure anyone will help me get elected.

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  • Fighting a Biased Media

    By mous on 1/19/09 3:08pm
    2 Comments

    Monday, January 19th
    12:05pm

    Dear Diary,

    Have just woken up after another sleepless night. I only got 10.5 hours! I must really work on getting the full 12 hours of beauty sleep that I need to maintain my good looks. Haven’t been featured as many media articles, but am working on more ways to get more in the media. Todd’s idea to fight the media and get back on the national stage was genius. He’s always been such a great support. His idea for the a documentary that vindicates me just goes to show that I was treated unfairly, and will ensure that I’m given the special treatment that I deserve during my next campaign. Not only that, exposing the media for the biased liars that they are will help draw in the base, which is always good for garnering support. Now if only I can figure out a way to draw in all conservatives…

    Regardless, as today is Martin Luther King Day, I do think that people should work towards more equality for everyone. And that includes me too! I’ve suffered because of sexism, classism, and whatever –ism applies to those who are from Alaska.

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