Thursday, October 9th
Am locked in what I suspect to be a holding cell, apparently is only way to ensure that press will not be able to locate me. Nothing to read but the New York Times (next time I am asked what I read, will say Cosmo), so got bored and staged informal debate: pantsuit v. no pantsuit.
Pros: Can’t see legs, less objectifying, need for shaving decreased, more time available for developing new campaign strategies, appeal to masses of Hillary supporters who may confuse identity.
Cons: Can’t see legs, less objectifying, waste of pretty new skirts, less appeal to male half of population, decreased chances of poor, confused gay men seeing light and being saved.
Also, noticed in last debate that John seems to have stopped using word ‘maverick.’ Am concerned about loss of important key word and am searching for adequate replacement. Currently considering ‘malarkey’ as has same number of letters, syllables, and has nice ring to it. Note to self: as soon as am released from holding cell, research effect of new word on swing voters.
Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin